Christmas can be a busy time for many people; filled with social gatherings, gift sharing, travelling, hosting and the usual cooking, eating and drinking. However, it can also highlight loneliness, family conflicts or ruptures and memories of loved ones who are no longer in your life.
Either way, the addition of cancer may make this period feel particularly difficult to cope with.
Here’s a little guide to help you find your way through:
Consider your physical and emotional needs
If you’re in treatment, you need to think about your capacity and what feels right to you. Perhaps you’d like to be taken care of at someone else’s house where you can be fed and loved, taking in all the action from the sofa or maybe you’d feel more comfortable in your own home so that you can disappear off to bed if it all gets a bit much. Maybe you want to feel part of something but aren’t sure whether you’ll feel well enough for a big, busy day.
When you’re feeling poorly you might just want what’s comforting and familiar and Christmas is often a time to indulge those long held traditions, but you might equally feel that cancer has caused you to re-evaluate what you want. If you’ve always hated sprouts, get rid of them. If want to leave the fairy lights up until February because they cheer you up, then go for it. Now really is the time to do it your way.
Set expectations
Christmas shopping can be a lot - a lot of time, money and energy. Instead of presents for everyone, why not consider doing a Secret Santa where there’s a set budget and everyone buys for one designated person. This can take the pressure off and can be fun to focus on just one person, instead of lots. If you live near a Tenovus Cancer Care shop, why not pop in to discover some hidden gems or explore our online shop. It’s affordable and sustainable shopping that gives back to the community.
Not everything needs to be perfect either. It’s ok to scale things down and turn down invitations if you don’t want or don’t have the energy to attend. Do what’s right for you.
Talk to your friends and family
If you have lots of people who want to see you or vice versa, perhaps consider grouping people together rather than doing several visits.
If you would like to have company but don’t have friends or family around, then it’s worth seeing what’s going on in your local community. Many church / faith groups or community organisations arrange Christmas lunches for people who might otherwise find themselves alone. Your GP or your local Age UK branch are good places to start. There’s no need to feel embarrassed – you won’t be the only person to find themselves in this situation.
Make it easy on yourself
If you generally host Christmas at your home, perhaps you can share tasks between the guests - someone to lay the table, wash the dishes, peel the vegetables, top up the drink, organise the games.
You also don’t have to have turkey with all the trimmings. If your tastebuds aren’t quite the same since starting treatment/taking medication then you might fancy a pasta bake, soup, or something very simple like an omelette. Perhaps buy in some easy ready meals so that there are options for you on the day, if your appetite or taste buds are not up to the full roast dinner.
Talk to your medical team
Make sure you know your treatment schedule over the festive period and have contact numbers for key people and teams, should you need to contact them about any symptoms or side effects that you experience.
Our Support Line will be open throughout Christmas and New Years so if you need to check in with one of our experienced nurses, don’t hesitate to call us for free on 0808 808 1010.
